A cynical, high-stakes statement for those who play the game—and know the cost.

This is a crisp, heavyweight cotton tee with a pared-back, satirical finance design that speaks with quiet confidence. While the front remains minimal, the back presents a tall, monochromatic typographic statement: "Everything I Love is Illegal, Expensive, or Blonde." It reads like an insider’s joke for anyone who moves between boardrooms, high-end bars, and the gray areas in between—subtle enough to be ignored by the uninitiated, bold enough to be recognized by those who get it. The structured crew neck and classic, boxy fit ensure it sits perfectly under a blazer or stands alone as a focal piece.

Product features

- Durable 100% cotton body (solid colors) — medium-weight 180 g/m² for year‑round wear

- Tubular knit construction with no side seams for a clean, waste‑reducing silhouette

- Ribbed, seam-free collar and shoulder tape to preserve shape and prevent stretching

- Dual-printing: DTF for sleeves and inner label, DTG for main artwork to ensure crisp, detailed graphics

- Tear-away label, Oeko‑Tex certified, meets EU safety standards and backed by a 2‑year EU warranty

Care instructions

- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed

- Do not iron

- Do not dryclean

- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)

- Tumble dry: low heat